I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
