Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
