I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
