Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
