no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
