That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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