no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
