Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
