Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
