Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
