whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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