This girl is more easily done than said...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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