we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
