she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Its about making memories worth repressing
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
