Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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