wakey wakey hands off snakey
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
