The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
