Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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