covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
