I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
zippers are such a cool invention
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
