maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
