I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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