hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
