were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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