Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
