It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Blood and glitter go together right?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
