I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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