Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
