Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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