sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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