two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
