anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
