I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
