Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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