Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
