Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We named our party play list daddy issues
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
