Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
