Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
