no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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