forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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