awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
