living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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