Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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