I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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