nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
