butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
