I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
