he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
