Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
