Just mADE A PArabola og urine
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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